Not a Note 200 - A Double Franklin!
Hey, look at that - my 200th Not a Note. Noteworthy, not?
And so today I’ll save some energy by cut and pasting a little ditty I texted to my buddy a few hours ago. It started like this:
“Good afternoon. This is your 10 minute warning to get over to the Rolex store for your six minute appointment ….”
Whoa - sounds intriguing. But first, some backstory. Turns out that the first standalone Rolex store, selling nothing but Rolexes and owned by Rolex itself, recently opened near my buddy. And so, having nothing better to do, he walked up to the door after noting that a sign said “OPEN” and a couple had just exited.
Imagine his surprise when they said “No entry for you!”
Upon asking why he was informed “We’re closed! We close at 5!”
Did it trouble them when my friend informed them that 5:00 was a time that still lurked in the future? It did not.
“Well, you can’t come without an appointment. I’ll send someone out to deal with that.”
Which they did. And there this tiny anecdote ends but the dark and murky waters beneath of unbridled wealth have barely been ruffled and so ruffling we shall go.
You see, the world of “luxury” is a strange one. One that depends 100% on the weak minds of those with way too much money. Just as Jedi mind tricks only work on weak minds, so does the LUXURY SNARE. Minds that don’t say “I’ll pay for quality and enjoy my purchases for the utility they bring, be it aesthetic or functional.” Rather, the minds of those vulnerable to the LUXURY SNARE say “I’ll pay far FAR more than something costs to produce if I know the producers make it purposely hard to obtain so it becomes “special” PLUS successfully snaring one will impress similarly weak minded people.”
And so, rather than purchasing a well made and intensely functional waxed cotton bag for $150 or an equally well made and heirloom quality leather bag for $500, these folks will purchase a Birkin bag for, well, anywhere from $10,000 to 2 million bucks.
Give the Birkin bag to an alien and ask what it’s worth. They’ll analyze the stitching, grade of leather, quality of the hardware and say “I dunno, Earthling - I guess maybe 500 bucks? Tops? Now take me to your leader, eh, so we can commence with the mayhem.”
The Birkin has “worth” because a sufficiency of people have been convinced that it does. If they suddenly stopped believing the fantasy, the “worth” would collapse.
And this is the case for sooo many luxury goods.
But we started the story with Rolex so let’s get back to that. Rolex is interesting because it started from humble beginnings. Watches cobbled together from other company’s parts and hawked by Hans Wilsdorf over a hundred years ago. Hans wasn’t able to watchmake himself out of a paper bag but he sure knew how to market watches. Early onto the endorsement train, he got his watches onto the wrists of athletes and marketed the hell out of them. He didn’t invent any new approaches but knew a good one when he saw it and jumped so hard onto the bandwagon that people ended up thinking he actually came up with the ideas. Wristwatch instead of pocket watch? Not his idea. Waterproof watch? Not his idea. Self-winding? Somebody else got to it first.
However he, and the Rolex company he founded (after making up the name because it sounded cool), took hold as a company that made high quality USEFUL watches. Tool watches. You wanted to scuba dive and needed a watch that wouldn’t leak and you could use it to remember when to surface? Just buy a Submariner. Need to time your laps at the track? Pick up a Daytona. Etc.
But round about the 1980’s, this began to change. Rolex started to grow its reputation as a “really nice” watch - one you aspire to own. They still weren’t crazy expensive and you could simply walk into a store and buy one, but they weren’t your everyday Bulovas or Hamiltons. They were aspirational.
And then … the 21st century dawned. And something weird happened. While still making a HUGE number of watches (around a million a year) the prices didn’t go down with increased production but up. And suddenly you COULDN’T just walk into a store and buy one. You could walk into a store and see some display models but nothing you could actually buy. And if you wanted to buy one the store, which also sold jewelry and other watch brands, didn’t really warm up to the idea unless you dropped some cash on other stuff first. Maybe a nice diamond bracelet for your girl friend. Otherwise you might be on the waiting list for a loooong time.
And even if you’d spent enough money, maybe you still weren’t “worthy” of the Submariner you wanted. Perhaps you should first prove your worth by buying an Air King that you really didn’t want, just to show you’re a good ‘un.
Where did this ultimately lead? To the store that inspired this Note. And so it’s time for the rest of my text:
“Good afternoon. This is your 10 minute warning to get over to the Rolex store for your six minute appointment. Please bring with you your five page essay on why you think you deserve the right to give us your money. Please keep in mind that you can only “see” our Rolexes in the sense that we will describe them to you (with hand gestures!) and you can picture them in your mind. In the event you’re granted a second visit, be sure to bring along signed notes from three Rolex owners attesting to your suitability to own one of our iconic timepieces. Please note that actually using the Rolex to tell the time is grounds for immediate withdrawal of the right to purchase any future timepieces since it demonstrates that you are a plebeian who does not truly understand the true meaning of Rolex ownership.”
Yeah, not completely true to life but it captures the new zeitgeist, I think. That last sentence actually references something real in luxury watches these days. The actual telling of time isn’t really that important. It’s the story or the materials or the drama of the watch that you’re paying for. Don’t believe it? Consider the Richard Mille RM 75-01. Two million bucks. And … quick - what time is it?:
Huh, maybe this one is easier …
Maybe not.
Full disclosure. The clock in my kitchen looks like this:
And the watch on my wrist pretty much every day is this one:
So I guess my preference for clarity over style isn’t too hidden.
Oops, lookit the time! Guess I’ve gotta wrap up and get to work on what needs doing. See you later!